Today I don’t feel as positive as…


I’ve slept for only two and half hours today. And then I woke up at 3:30 am. not able to sleep again. I’m thinking about a job offer where I’ll be starting work at 6:00 am. but in order to get ready and be on time I’d have to wake up at 4:30 am. each day, which I think is the reason why my brain is refusing to shut down now that is actually and exactly 4:30 am. Another reason for my self diagnostic insomnia is my flaring anxiety. I am so moody, nervous and tense for everything this days. I guess I’m Post-PMSing. Not even a cup of sweet black coffee, which I’m craving for right now, works on me as it used to be.

I found myself reading everything I could about relaxing massages, even on personal adds I found rubbing massages and climax massaging offers. I found it amusing, even interesting for those adventurers our there, but sadly I’m pretty much reserved when it comes to personal contact with people I do not know. I had a Chinese stress relieve massage once for 20 minutes, and seemed like it was an eternity. I ended up getting Chinese/Swedish look alike instead of a relaxing massage. And I was not relaxed at all.

So now I don’t get massages, and I’m yet to find a solution to get rid of both my insomnia and my stress. I am feeling very down and negative, don’t feel as positive I had always being before, with the exception of the last 2 yrs. But one thing is bothering me as I am sharing my thoughts with online nice strangers, that decided at one point in their lives that my writing work was worth following, is that no one has taken the time to like or commenting my little articles/ blogs here. So I’m getting concerned as to why would that be as years before I had countless people urging me to continue writing and share my blogs online here and on places like Facebook or Twitter (@EvelynBlogger) And it’s 5:00 am.

I have paused a bit while writing for small runs to the restroom and the kitchen and debating whether I should share this or not but before anything I’m a writer and lots of writers write for themselves and by themselves, so I’m pushing the “Publish” button as my mind is figuring out what else to do to try to fall asleep again and as my husband gives the loudest snores of the night. So nope, I don’t feel as positive as the title of my site here suggest. Maybe few likes, re-shares, and comments would cheer me up a bit. So don’t be shy, go ahead and comment. I really need to find a good stress and anxiety relief plan that doesn’t include massages, nor any sensual, or sexual activities either as those are scratched out of my list for now and totally out of “reach”?

More of this on my next post…

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